Let’s be real for a second.

I spent most of my life convinced that something was broken inside me.

While everyone around me seemed to juggle ten things at once and multitask their way through life like it was nothing, I was stuck.

Processing one thing at a time. Needing to close every loop before opening a new one, and watching my mind refuse to move forward until the current thought was complete.

I thought I was slow, defective. And that it was only because of my willpower or the wrong systems.

Then someone told me I’m a “Projector.”

Now, I’m not here to sell you on Human Design or any framework, honestly.

But it showed me I was like this weird machine trying to run software designed for a completely different architecture.

And what matters is that it finally unlocked permission.

Permission to stop fighting.

The schema that was never meant for me

I’ve been trying to operate like a “Generator” my whole life.

“Projector? Generator? What the…“

Hold on.

You know, sustainable energy, ability to work for hours, built for the grind? Ok, these are the Generators.

And society loves Generators. Hustle culture was designed for them.

But that’s NOT me.

My energy works differently. I see patterns others miss, I process deeply, and I need emotional rest that looks like laziness to the untrained eye.

My mind is like a single-threaded processor in a world that worships parallel computing.

For years, I saw this as a bug and tried to work around it.

The loop problem

Let me explain how my brain actually works.

When a thought enters, it needs to be processed. Filed somewhere or completed. Only then can the next one come in.

It’s like my nervous system maintains a strict queue: first in, first out, no skipping (that’s why I work so well with consistency).

I go through lists one by one.

I wouldn’t call it a method but rather something I can’t do any other way. My mind refuses to jump ahead because it needs the satisfaction of completion and closure before it releases its grip.

And you know what? I used to hate this about myself.

I’d watch other indie makers or colleagues crush their to-do lists while I was still processing point number two on mine.

I’d feel the anxiety rising when someone interrupted my flow because now I had an incomplete loop dangling there and taking mental RAM.

For some reasons, I thought this made me less capable.

But I was wrong.

Working through it, not past it

My therapist Dania (if you’re reading this, hiii) once asked me: “What if instead of fighting your nature, you designed your life around it?”

We sat with that for a moment.

Simple question, right?

But what if the way my nervous system processes information isn’t an obstacle to overcome? What if it’s the operating manual I was never given?

So I started experimenting.

I stopped forcing myself into rapid context-switching and gave myself permission to honor the loops, letting them close properly instead of trying to move fast and wondering why I felt so scattered.

And the first results tell me about less anxiety and a strange feeling of peace I didn’t know was possible.

Crazy, huh?!

(But the road ahead is still long and bumpy, so I will not celebrate too early…)

The fighter who got tired of fighting

I fought all my life against my own rhythms, against the voice in my head that said “you should be able to do this faster, do more, be more.”

I’m 36 now.

And I’m done fighting.

Not in a defeated way, obviously, but in a “finally figured out the game was rigged” way.

The schema I was trying to fit into was never designed for people like me. It was designed for a different kind of human, running different internal software, and the comparison made me feel broken.

But I’m not broken. Just different.

So I’m trying to embrace being the Projector and stop trying to be someone I’m not.

This is what I learned so far

1. Your nervous system work with it or suffer against it.
2. Single-threaded processing is a feature when you stop treating it like a flaw, because it lets you see details that others miss. (Did anyone say perfectionism?)
3. The loops need to close. Honor that and build systems that let them.
4. Rest is how some of us recharge the kind of insight that can’t be forced otherwise.
5. The right framework is the permission you give yourself to be exactly who you are and not someone else.

Now—I’m not going to pretend I fully understand Human Design or whether it’s “real” in any scientific sense. I don’t know.

But reading about Projectors felt like someone had hacked into my source code and written documentation for it.

It gave me language.

And language matters, because once you can name the thing, you can stop fighting it.

So maybe you’re reading this, and something resonates. Maybe you’ve spent years feeling like you’re operating on borrowed software, wondering why everyone else seems to have an easier time.

Or maybe you’ve spent years thinking you’re broken because your brain doesn’t match the productivity templates and life advice Generators throws around.

I’ll tell you what… You’re not broken.

Your nervous system processes information the way it processes information. Period.

And we have to work our way through it, not past it.

Am I still frustrated sometimes? Yeah, absolutely. Do I wish I could just “chill” like everyone keeps telling me to? You bet.

But for the first time in 36 years, I’m seeing a light.

And that might be the most productive thing I’ve ever done.

Let’s see where this goes.